Heel!
Weak Protests spill-
can't
loyalty
trust
love
all profanities tonight.
Hush!
Smokey lips, the taste of cloves and
skin to skin will settle the matter-
our antipathy is an insatiable aphrodisiac.
This argument could very well last the night.
How the wind mourns against the windows
stained with martyrs whose eyes are glass,
and still you sleep.
The buzz of strangers feigning intimacy,
they mouth condolences, a bouquet of emptiness,
and still you sleep.
Impersonal granite hands lift my entire world
carrying it away to its final resting place,
and still you sleep.
Damp earth enfolds you beside me
together at last, awake my love
and sleep no more.
What's that shadow in the hall,
That noise behind your back?
So nervous, there's a sheen of sweat
Tonight
I will bathe in blood that's black.
The gangs all here, its a party
And you're the guest of honor
Go ahead, turn out the lights
Run
We know eactly where you are.
We're our own greatest fallacy,
A true wonder of deception, indeed.
You never tore my mind to pieces with your apathy or ever took too much.
Besides, I never loved you, wanted, or even needed you.
You're just a grain of sand in my mind's eye and all these tears will wash you away.
Destiny and aspiration fornicate,
Producing a precarious little sophist.
Nothing matters anymore, not to you or me.
We were never an object of concern.
So, why should I care if you are dead?
Just don't leave your pathetic mess in my head.
It is so very crowded in here already.
It's never enough to just feel pain,
One must inflict it like an "I love you."
Your words were not the noxious perfume that poisoned my trust and there is no such thing as deceit.
Ah, you're not really dead nor as shallow as the grave at my feet.
For the first time in my life, I was overwhelmed
By sorrow, joy, fear, amazement, and inadequacy,
The realization that my life, was no longer my own
An inexplicable desire to protect consumed me.
And there you were, preciously unaware of it all
So intent on opening your eyes or making a fist,
I cataloged in my memory, your every achievement
From your first smile to the discovery of your toes.
There were so many questions, choices to make
Only later did I learn there are no right answers,
Every decision has consequences, painful sacrifice
A constant struggle between the lesser of two evils.
I am forever interrogating myself, "Did I do right?
Was I wrong or was that really the best solution?"
Too many times I'm unsure, the word IF condemns
Demanding my tortured tears and self loathing.
Despite all my mistakes, you were granted mercy
An infallible sign you are destined for greatness,
The fact that you survived, a very good omen
I'd never be accused of anything remotely perfect.
Now you've progressed nicely, time has not been idle
Neither has it been unkind for you've grown fair,
No longer a toddler, you walk with refined grace
And a gentle poise that you did not get from me.
Together we have learned, together we matured
I was too young but you were so wonderful,
More exqusite than I deserved, you gave me life
And a better reflection of myself in your eyes.
With so much to be thankful for, I'm ashamed
That I have allowed myself to become so sad,
If only I'd known, I could look forward to you
I would have made better and healthier choices.
There are consequences, the debt of free will
And the time I have dreaded is finally come,
I am in awe of every moment, you and I had
Memories warm my spirit though I grow cold.
Make me a promise, never lose your smile
Too many tears will wilt my favorite rose,
I asked the Lord, to keep you in His hands
For I can no longer keep you in my own.
You settle back into the seat across from me
Eyes searching mine for answers I'll not give up,
This moment of silence is anything but stable
Charged with the echoes of unvoiced suspicions.
Green eyes never leave yours as I lean forward
The predator's smile lingers on these dark red lips,
My icy fingers lace around a dainty cup of tea
As jasmine's intoxicating scent goes to my head.
Damn the past and all of its frail skeletal demons
I have grown weary of their unexpected hauntings,
Damn the future as well and its ominous graveyard
The moment is really much more appealing to me.
You lower your gaze but there is no victory yet
A breath taut with frustration escapes your mouth,
It is obvious I am not the only one with demons
But your battle seems more scandalous than mine.
One meticulously waxed black eyebrow arches
As I slowly raise the warm cup to my lacquered lips,
There is no denying you and I are a matched set
And this very notion eats you alive as we sit here.
Even now, I can see you feel the familiar stirring
Our animosity has become an irresistible aphrodisiac,
Enslaving and sustaining you as your morality parches
So silence speaks the truth you refuse to give words.
One little, two little, three little...
Muses making faces
And levitating tables
They're ranting about cleavage
While spinning little fables
No one really notices
Till they've gone away
Those wicked wicked wraiths
It's the devilry they say.
One little, two little, three little...
Muses laughing loudly
Its a no-no on their lips
Flee! the spell they cast
As they sashay saucy hips
Do not look directly
At these preying fae
Those naughty naughty wraiths
It's the devilry they say.
One little, two little, three little...
Muses come unwound
The night has had its fun
Now clocks are waking up
And hail the rising sun
The time has come for work
In bed you'd rather stay
Those sleepy sleepy wraiths
It's the devilry they say.
Someone stole your parking spot
And murder's sounding fun,
While exiting your vehicle
You hear the nylons run,
The elevator's broken
You're forced to take the stairs,
Gucci pumps get scuffed
That's the least of all your cares.
Then the last triumphant step
Trips you up in spite,
Now your knee is bloody
And you look a dreadful fright.
You're finally at the door
A fanfare waits for you,
And crying would be lovely
But that really wouldn't do.
So, throw that door wide open
There's no looking like a rose,
And to hell with everyone
It's time to strike a pose!
| it was supposed to | B | e a fun surprise |
| but "ha!" the jok | E | was all on me |
| my eyes are seared wi | T | h lewd visions |
| of you and he | R | in ecstacy |
| dazedly i s | A | t on the sofa |
| and drank brand | Y | to your crescendo |
| to promiscuity! and whatever fuck e | L | se matters. |
II. summer rains
Secret vows passed between our lips weaving sweet prophesies sown in the heat. We were one sacred temple in this paradiso, reverently built and mutually exalted. I would linger for hours, basking in your enchanted radiance as Euphoria cried with envy that she would never know bliss such as our's. Those days belonged to us and they became my greatest treasure. I knew there would never be anyone else but you when you called me your own. No longer lost, I gave up my wandering ways for I was found in the rain.
III. autumn rains
I can still feel your touch, your whisper against my skin, the heat of your fingertips rendering me incapable of lucid thought and then I wake- alone. My arms are tormented, pained with the void of you. There is this crippling ache that never leaves. It strangles my reason and mercilessly bruises my heart . Air has turned to lead as the memory of you washes down my cheek and splashes onto the pillow. Consumed by want of you, I am drowning in the rain.
IV. winter rains
The cold has trespassed upon my soul and the only warmth I feel is distant at best. They say they've sent for you or perhaps that is only another one of my dreams. All things blur together, were you ever real? My mind is no longer my own. I imagine your return and a smile wavers on my white lips. Is that you beside me now? I am too far away to reach out, come closer. Why are there tears in your voice? Come closer. I do not feel you hold me as I drift away nor your tender kiss that claims last breath. I am here, waiting for you in the rain.
In Amsterdam two years later we spoke
Refugees from an afternoon downpour
We sought shelter in the same cab by chance
You used Hemingway as an umbrella.
Dublin had a great laugh when we danced
Not accustomed to their lively steps
We stumbled on wooden floors like a bad joke
And I can still hear the flute play in my head.
Soon after, we met in London admist great fog
Whispering aspirations in the shelter of night
The after glow leaving us pleasantly entranced
It was with great reluctance that we said g'bye.
But there was Paris so intoxicating and grand
We lingered there for as long as possible
Too soon we parted returning to reality's bog
I didn't go to Stockholm, you were there alone.
Summer in Madrid found me terribly ill
My malady a dangerous pregnancy
It was there I first touched our child's hand
And the last, I held her until the end.
Seven long years later in Budapest I see you again
Meandering brings us to the banks of Danube
We discuss your wife and sons while I suppress a chill
Strange how the hardest decisions are already made.
We laugh about Dublin and smile regarding Paris
Then fatefully you ask why not Stockholm
I smile and lie about all that has been,
'Fates let him see!' my heart cries
But you can't and we say one last g'bye.
You didn't hear the splash walking up the hill
Nor did you ever turn to look back
I watched you through the water thinking of Paris
As the Danube current carried truth away.
What is the matter, Love
Fear the blood on your hands
The guilt eating you alive
Knowing I'm left for dead?
Here let me guide your hand
To the knife you've left in me
Shove it a bit deeper, Darling
It's my due, now set me free.
Hesitantly, it floats out of the darkness...
The light beckons, softly urging with warmth...
Heat draws it nearer, despite the pain...
Flame consumes flesh and the moth falls dead...
Innocence white rose
Crimson stained in grief,
Lily in the thistles
Anguish is relief.
No release from suffering
Now trapped in legend's vice,
No compassion here
Idle comments made of ice.
Damned to drink the nectar
Never forget the first,
A shell of what had been
Forgotten in the thirst.
Whispers caress softly
Pleading one to hear-
Desperate for another
Someone to be near.
Innocence white rose
Crimson stained in grief,
Lily in the thistles
Anguish is relief.
Bound by blades of gold
Bled into submission,
Pop culture's little leaches
Feeding on depression.
Lambs to the slaughter
And carnage satiated
Wooed by a killer-
Death's too overrated.
Her body is the apple of raw lust
seducing even saints with her greed,
defiled- she's used over and over,
but languid apathy is her creed.
She spreads her legs for everyone
not caring where they've been,
and wears politics like a neglige
sashaying around in it like Zen.
Her children demand the sun
true beings of megalomania,
a drag queen poses as her lover,
And this sign reads-
"Welcome to California."
On occasion I have tried
To trap that little imp
But the monster gets away
Chanting, "I am the pimp!"
Stop!
There might be a solution
A way to get him yet
And bring his terror to an end
Ah, this trap I shall set.
Damn his writer blocking ways
I know just what I'll do,
Tack a poem to his ass
This little demon's through!