I came to suddenly, waking with a jolt from a very pleasant dream. Sango was there... or was it Kagome? I couldn't be sure. I supposed it didn't matter, it was just a dream. A very, very real dream. I half expected to see woman's hands stroking my chest, slipping through my hair as soft, pliant lips covered my own.

I felt myself groan slightly, still trying to hold onto the dream which slipped away with each passing moment, despite my arousal, despite the fact that I could still practically feel warm, slim fingers and the hard tips of nails on my chest, stroking my skin.

Wait. Those hands were real. Too real to be the vestiges of a dream, and that was, well... alarming. My eyes opened, quickly, shaking off the few holds sleep still had on my mind.

I was in his arms. Sesshomaru. The memory came back to me quickly.

I had been gathering a modest amount of firewood. It had gotten cold outside with the change of seasons, and unfortunately we were stuck on the road. The poor ladies would catch cold if I wasn't conscientious in my duty. It had to have been my third or forth trip out into the woods, and it was growing darker.

Suddenly he was there, staring at me with those strange demonic eyes that glinted abnormally in the darkness. I was afraid, for a moment. But I wasn't far from the others, not really. I could certainly call for help if things got dire, and I was not without my own weapons. I let the pile of wood slip to the ground, faced him, smiling. Daring him to do his worst as I began loosening the protections that held the void on my hand shut.

Perhaps that brazenness was foolish of me. He saw my actions, that I meant to fight him myself, and he countered my intentions before I could fully act on them. I wouldn't have believed youkai could move so fast. He caught my wrists, forcing my hands away from untying the rather complicated knot that held the seals shut.

Angry at myself for not being able to face him alone, I opened my mouth to shout, to alert the others. But he was one step ahead of me again, quickly throwing me to the ground and knocking the breath from me. I barely had time to gasp for air when he was on top of me, wrapping first one, then the other clawed hand around my neck, firmly pinning my hands with his knees. I managed nothing but strangled gasps as I thrashed underneath him.

Though his hands weren't around my neck now, they might as well have been. I could make no more noise than I had previously as I stared up at him. It was his hands that stroked me, that had wandered under my clothing to send those shivers of pleasure all through my body. I was lying with my head in his lap, on the floor of the forest. I don't know how long I had been unconscious, or even if we were still near the others. He had moved me, we were in a clearing now, and I could see the moon shining through his hair, turning it a glowing silver. I lay there, eyes locked on his face for several seconds, holding my breath, just taking in his sheer beauty.

I had, of course, never made any secret of the fact that I desire women. I feel attraction for them on many different levels. Soft, delicate, enchanting.. they were quite different from myself. They also represented comfort, a way of denying, even forgetting the curse that kept my hand bound in constricting spells and haunted me every day. They were the possibility that I could have a son, keep my family from being completely eradicated from the world by Naraku... Women represented my hope.

What I had made a secret of, however, was my attraction to my own sex. It was nowhere near as strong as my desire for women, however, every once in a while a man would spark something inside of me. I rarely, if ever acted on those desires. I, in fact, tried to purge them from me completely. They were counterproductive. Counter-reproductive if you will.

And there he was, looking down at me. Alien. Dangerous. With his hands down my robes and looking like almost a guilty child. Caught in a moment of surprise, he was absolutely adorable. Lips slightly parted, eyes a trifle wide, and not holding his usual cold, arrogant disinterest, but rather a mixture of confusion and desire and something deeper that I couldn't define.

Looking up at him, the fact that he could snap my neck in an instant seemed ridiculous. It was almost laughable. Even though I knew he hated humans above anything else, he held me carefully, and for some reason, I was still alive. But, if he didn't mean to kill me, what was this all about? Suddenly I was afraid. Cursing myself for not pulling away from him immediately, I started to sit up, only to get halfway there when his grip on me tightened.

Well, shit.